🎭 On one hand, it is an emotion — and like other emotions, it fades over time.

✨ On the other hand, it can be understood as a state of being: a sense of contentment and alignment with one’s values and priorities.

So, when someone asks, “Are you happy?”, it is worth pausing to reflect on what kind of happiness the question refers to.

Imagine this situation: You work for a prosperous company. You feel responsible for its success and believe that you’ve contributed to its story.

When hard times come, you do everything you can to pull the company out of crisis - and you succeed. You secure a crucial contract that revitalizes the business. Your colleagues admire you, you earn a generous bonus, and you feel proud and happy with your achievement.

But after a few weeks, the excitement fades. People stop talking about your big deal. You return to your usual routine, facing everyday tasks and responsibilities. The happiness you felt from that achievement is gone.

Why does this happen?

The answer lies in a psychological phenomenon called hedonic adaptation.

Hedonic adaptation is the way we get used to changes in our lives - whether good or bad - so that our overall level of happiness eventually returns to about where it was before. For example, after winning the lottery or recovering from an illness, people typically experience a surge of joy or relief. Yet, over time, they tend to return to their, let's call it, baseline mood.

This pattern is largely driven by the way dopamine and serotonin work. The brain responds strongly to novelty or sudden change, but as experiences become familiar, the initial pleasure spike subsides.

Arthur Brooks gives us insight into two categories of orientation regarding life pursuits:

These are the four categories that appear on most people’s bucket lists. Their dominance and prevalence often lead to a lack of fulfillment and constant chasing.

These are the four right spheres where we should direct our desires.

Focusing on these areas, while reducing expectations, results in fewer wants. Only then does satisfaction increase, because the focus shifts from the "vicious" four orientations to the "virtuous" ones.

This doesn’t mean we can’t be ambitious or that we are forbidden to enjoy worldly things. It simply means we should avoid attachment to them and refrain from craving them as the source of our happiness.

The answer can be found in happiness diversification. According to this idea, a person should not rely solely on one source of happiness, but instead draw fulfillment from various areas of life - such as relationships, meaningful work, hobbies, health, joypersonal growth, and community.

It’s similar to diversifying investments: if one area of life (for example, your romantic relationship) fails to bring joy or goes through a rough period, the other sources can help maintain your overall well-being.

Try to recall the simple, little things that brought you joy throughout the day - a smile shared with a stranger at the grocery store, a short chat with your neighbor, a delicious coffee enjoyed at a café before work, decorating your living room with fresh flowers, or a quiet walk through the park, breathing in the scent of the pines and nature around you.

Make sure that you can preserve these simple moments during your next day to create more opportunities to feel good. Don't allow the hustle and bustle of daily routine to drain you of that joyfulness. Daily mindfulness helps you notice small joys.

Have you ever heard of gratitude journaling? It’s simple and only takes a few minutes each day. Just write down three things or moments that made you smile. It could be a meaningful conversation, a compliment you gave to someone at the gym and the smile you received in return, earning extra points at a petrol station, or getting positive feedback after your presentation at work.

This habit helps you shift your focus from what’s missing to what’s already good in your life.

The most powerful natural antidepressant is exercise. Make sure to move every day — dance, walk, run, do yoga, go to the gym, or play basketball or football. Even if you feel tired at first, once your heart rate rises, movement becomes enjoyable. The sense of satisfaction that follows comes from knowing you’ve done something good for your health. What’s more, physical activity helps balance dopamine and serotonin, stabilizing your emotional rhythm and improving your overall mood.

A quote from Mark Manson, The New York Times bestselling author, perfectly captures the paradox of chasing happiness. When we constantly strive to feel happy, we end up focusing on the gap between how we feel now and how we want to feel. That gap creates frustration. The more we chase a positive experience, the more we remind ourselves that we don’t have it yet. In that sense, the desire for happiness becomes a source of unhappiness.

On the other hand, when we accept negative emotions - sadness, boredom, disappointment - without resistance, we stop feeding them with judgment and anxiety.

It is human to feel this way, so we should accept that unhappiness is a natural part of life. Trying to eliminate it only creates pressure and, paradoxically, makes us less happy. In that space of acceptance, happiness grows on its own - not as something chased, but as a natural result of living fully and honestly.