Do we truly know the value of our decisions?
We often think we do, but our understanding is usually vague. Every time we face a decision, an internal scale starts wavering back and forth. We quickly weigh the option of moving forward against staying in our current situation. This process is driven by an innate tendency to seek benefit while avoiding unnecessary effort.
Take a simple example: sitting and watching TV versus getting up to do household chores like laundry. When we realize we need clean clothes for work the next day, the task becomes a necessity rather than a choice.
At that moment, we feel emotional tension between competing forces: the discomfort of fatigue ("I’m tired, I don’t want to move”) and the satisfaction of preparedness (“I’ll take care of things and be ready for tomorrow”). Which feeling carries more weight?
Many basic human behaviors can be understood through this lens.
In these cases, we must dive deeper into projected future outcomes. Our evaluations rely heavily on anticipated good and bad feelings.
Unfortunately, predicting long-term outcomes - especially those influenced by countless variables - is extremely difficult.
Worse, we are poor judges of how future events will actually make us feel. Experiences we expect to bring great happiness often result in only mild satisfaction. Conversely, situations we fear will exhaust or sadden us sometimes leave us feeling energized and healthier. And what initially seems neutral may later reveal itself as one of the greatest blessings in our lives!
As a result, it is difficult to fully understand what a decision truly represents over time. Often, we can only act on our best guess, while emotions and cognitive biases quietly influence our judgment.
What can help?
Educate yourself about how your mind works.
You can start by reading books that address emotional struggles you already recognize in yourself. Explore the ideas of respected psychologists and authors. Become more observant and reflective of your own thoughts and reactions. Acknowledge the life wisdom of others whose opinions matter to you, people you value and trust, and consider their advice. You don’t need to follow their opinions immediately; however, exposing yourself to alternative, more objective perspectives can help counter emotional bias and reduce impulsive tendencies.
Strive for rationality.
Make a plan. Write a list of pros and cons and revisit it after some time has passed. Another useful approach is to temporarily adopt a different perspective. Pretend you are someone else and view the situation from the outside. Imagine you are a person you admire, and ask yourself what response or advice that person would give. If your mentor is, for example, the podcaster Jay Shetty, imagine him standing in your shoes and approaching the situation from his perspective to generate a solution.
Consider future regret.
Ask yourself whether you would regret doing it - or not doing it - more. Let’s look at an example of someone considering starting a new business. There is a niche in the market, and the idea seems innovative. If you choose not to pursue it, you may later feel regret when you realize that the idea could have led to a prosperous life had you acted on it at the time.
Even if the outcome turns out differently and you lose some money and time, you still gain valuable experience. Moreover, your life continues to move forward with momentum, and you avoid becoming stuck in a rut.
You can analyse the past, but you need to design the future.
Alongside the techniques already discussed, there is a structured psychological method worth exploring, developed by Edward de Bono
His idea presents an approach that helps you complete the decision-making process by deliberately considering different perspectives.
One reason we struggle to think beyond a problem is that we view it through our own biases and emotions. Whenever you encounter a difficulty or dilemma, imagine putting on six different hats, one by one, to guide your thinking. This method helps you explore multiple paths and maintain control over your thoughts by examining the problem through different lenses.
Imagine six hats placed on a table in front of you. You pick them up one at a time and try each one on.
The White Hat represents a doctor or scientist. It focuses on data, facts, and information. When wearing this hat, you view the problem purely through logic and objective evidence.
The Red Hat symbolizes the heart and emotions. Logic is set aside, and you listen to your intuition, gut feelings, and emotional reactions. What feels right to you?
The Black Hat represents the role of a judge. This is the cautious perspective: what could go wrong? You consider risks, worst-case scenarios, and potential regrets.
The Yellow Hat stands for optimism. Like the sun, it encourages positive thinking. You explore the benefits and imagine how your future might improve if everything unfolds in the best possible way.
The Green Hat represents creativity and growth. Like spring, it invites new ideas and alternative solutions. You think outside the box and search for possibilities that may not be immediately obvious.
The Blue Hat is the manager’s hat. After wearing all the others, this perspective brings everything together. You organize what you’ve learned, reflect on all viewpoints, and decide on the next steps.
Consider Jane’s situation and her struggle to choose additional studies in order to increase her credentials in her current position. She puts on the hats one after another.
The White Hat (facts and data) Jane knows that the degree will take two years to complete, require evening and weekend study, and involve significant tuition costs. It is recognized in her field and would add formal scientific credentials to her professional profile.
The Red Hat (emotions and intuition) Jane feels intellectually excited and motivated by the idea of pursuing the degree. At the same time, she senses anxiety about exhaustion and losing personal time.
The Black Hat (risks) Jane worries that balancing full-time work with study could lead to burnout. She also recognizes that the financial investment may not bring immediate returns.
The Yellow Hat (optimism) Jane believes the degree could strengthen her scientific credibility and open doors to research or teaching roles. It may also increase her long-term professional resilience.
The Green Hat (creativity and alternatives) Jane considers starting with a certificate program or enrolling part-time before committing fully. She also explores online or modular formats to reduce pressure.
The Blue Hat (conclusion) Jane reviews the facts, emotions, risks, and benefits together. Based on this, she chooses a flexible study path that aligns with her career and long-term goals.
Now you have a complete set of clear guidelines. Put your own situation and dilemma in mind and clarify it, just as Jane did.
